i received my my first Anon comment the other day and it has me conflicted - part of me feels bad, like i let people down and disappointed them and another part of me doesn’t give a damn because definitelyjennifer is not about anyone but me.

but still, i’ve never had a comment in all my years of blogging that’s bothered me. and my very first Anon fixed that. for some reason it bothered me all day after i read it. i kept wishing i could call that person and say “what are you talking about?!?” but i know it doesn’t matter. it just made me think.

i mean i can get negative comments from friends and family and people i know and i can brush those off - it’s easy to pinpoint our differences and see why they feel the way they do. but for it to come from some faceless nameless person it’s hard to see why they feel the way they do, and why it differs so much from the way i feel.

and then i created this response where i rambled on and on trying to make them understand where i’m coming from, as if it matters. but i so badly want to explain myself and make sure they “get” me even though it’s pointless because anyone who would leave an anonymous comment does not get me and we’re probably different in many many ways. i don’t really understand the option of Anonymous commenting anyway. why would you ever say something you wouldn’t stand behind?

grr, it’s just so frustrating to me. i spent a long walk thinking about this comment and wondering if maybe I wasn’t approaching MY pregnancy in the best way for ME. and then i thought, WHATTHEFUCK?! the fact that anyone would even suggest that is so beyond my comprehension. and i hope this person has been through pregnancy before, because to question anyone else’s approach is ballsy enough and i really just hope they’re coming from their own experience and not just how they dream it will be. i mean for christ’s sake, when i was in wedding-obsessed mode i read blogs from every person who was getting married and i spent countless times reading people’s posts and rolling my eyes hard. what were they thinking? i could have left comments telling them they were doing it all wrong but it wasn’t my place. yes, i disagreed with their choices and the way they were approaching all of it but that was MY opinion. i handled my own approach to that day in a way that was right for ME, i have no right to force that on anyone else or to make them feel bad about what they’re doing for THEM and i don’t know the reasons they chose to make the decision they did, and there are ALWAYS more details than you know.

all i’ve come away from this comment with is this - we all do what’s right for us and maybe my skin isn’t as thick as i’d like to think.

and Anonymous commenter, you know who you are, i really wish you would have sent the same message but with your identity because i do have a ton to say that might explain why we feel differently and i really want the chance to defend myself but it’s not information i want to post for the world to read. i would love to have been able to send you the long drawn out (i’m obviously not known for being concise) response in private rather than just skip over it in general.

IN SUMMARY: i would turn off the option for people to leave anonymous questions but i’m too lazy to figure out where that function resides.