1. schedule mysterious visits with all of your family members calling “just to make sure you’re going to be able to be there, oh no special reason why” a la my not so mysterious sister
2. post a picture of your 7 peed upon positive pregnancy tests on facebook, twitter, tumblr, and your wordpress blog. even change your profile pics to the gross proof.
3. wait a few months and mail out photos of your sonared uterus to friends and family to be met with congratulatory emails & phone calls once the horror they found in their mailbox, and unwillingly laid their eyes upon, dissipates
4. call your closest friends and family and tell them before telling a world of complete internet strangers
5. visit those you care about, decide to take a group photo, just before you click the shutter release on your remote say “we’re pregnant!” and take a consecutive run of photos capturing everyone processing the news
6. start calling everyone you know as soon as you see a result on that Dollar Store pregnancy test, incoherently revealing the news only to hang up before anyone knows what you even said
7. buy an “i ♥ my pregnant wife” t-shirt and show up to the houses of those you care about with your husband wearing it and watch while people slowly put it together
8. ignore the urge to tell everyone right away, wait the requisite 3 months, and then tell everyone you come in contact with the good news
9. don’t tell anyone. assume people will figure it out by the 5th month or so… but be prepared for all the whispers about how much weight you’ve been putting on
10. write a veiled post hinting that you’re pregnant to the interwebs after you’ve told your real life family & friends

for the record we went with a combination of #4 & #7

oh and i guess this is #10 too